_ Guess what? I'll bet your English teacher lied to you. "What?! Not Mrs. Anderson! She was amazing and made the best cupcakes at Christmas. How could you say that about her, Carlos?!" I'm not talking about how nice she was. But, did she teach you how to be a better communicator?

_We've probably all had similar experiences in grade school and beyond. You know, the lessons on proper grammar, how to write a letter, etc...

I think a lot of that instruction comes back to bite us in the ass a bit. Why? Because we've essentially been taught how to communicate like a robot (see picture on left).

Is that how you talk to your friends? Is that how you interact with business acquaintances at a networking event? Probably not. If you do talk like a robot, you may need professional medical attention (no offense to all you real robots out there).

So how do we blend the two worlds of personal and professional?  How do we sound more personable over email? Try these seven steps and be a better communicator in your business dealings.

1) Find your voice: I am not suggesting you learn how to sing. I'm saying that you need to figure out who you are. How do you interact with friends? How do you interact in a professional setting? Is it possible to blend the two? You need to find your voice. Who are you? What do you stand for? Do you sound like a robot? You are absolutely unique. Don't try to sound like someone else. Most people can sense "the fake" a mile away. You know, the guy or gal with the cheesy smile and unnaturally high voice? Is that really you?

2) Analyze your style: Go back through some recent emails. Read your writing. Is it personable or robotic. Does it sound like a line from Jane Austen or like a line from an Eminem album? Are you properly blending your personality with your professional responsibilities? Are you showing others that you ARE approachable? Be honest and don't cheat on this one.

3) Ask others: Ask some of your business friends to analyze your email conversations. Tell them you want a truly honest opinion. No sugar-coating people! You may be surprised what they tell you: "Dude, you sound like my boss when you email me about business." "Girl, you need to lay off the caffeine."

4) Read what others write: Go back to your email account again. Read some of past correspondence with other business contacts. Who sounds real? Who sounds like a robot? Who can you try to emulate and improve your own communications? Who is a true example of how to be a better communicator?

5) Practice: Ok. Now it's time to try out your new gift for gab. Respond to a couple emails. Try to sound professional yet personal. Instead of "It was a distinct honor and privilege to have met your acquaintance upon yon window sill," try saying, "It was great chatting yesterday. Can't wait to see you at the next water cooler gossip session." It's in no way over the top. It's just personal enough. Practice. Practice. Practice.

6) Re-Analyze your style: After a few day of perfecting your craft, go back through your sent emails and do an honest assessment of where you stand. Are you making progress? Would YOU want YOU to email YOU? Does it sound like you're trying to make a friend or close a deal? (Hint: it's always good to try to make more friends even in business) Do you still feel like you can be a better communicator?

7) Do it over and over again: This stuff takes practice. Exorcising the robot demons isn't always easy. We all fall into the trap of "Well, it's just an email to a client. I'll just stick with the facts and forget the personal touch." I know it's easy to do. Just try NOT to do it. Have a conversation over email. I'll say that again: "Have a CONVERSATION over email."

Originally posted on Carlos Cooper's Blog